Shopping is Therapy.

It is pretty common knowledge that I love shopping but hate crowds...:) I also love Fridays...not sure why...
Saturday I was only supposed to attend a birthday lunch...which was conveniently going to take place near a strip mall...So its understandable that I came home with the "perfect" dress, and the "perfect" make up! Seriously, if you suffer from low self esteem, or if you're having a bad day...go shopping! The make up artist was like "oh you have such BEAUTIFUL skin, you don't need make up, we can try if you like...OMG you look even better with it on...the eye shadow is just perfect for you!" I knew she was B.S'ing, but what the heck, my esteem rose to 110%. Then I went to look at dresses, and I walked out to show my friends...and I got ooohh's and aahhh's from strangers and thought...screw credit card debt! I'll make shopping a habit:) Halle berry who??? the new name in town is MANENA!!! hot chicks come with love handles these days...didn't you get the memo?

Then twiddle-dumb and twiddle-dumber my accomplices, were planning a trip for us to go to Costa Rica which happens to coincide with my trip to engy, so i said to them, that I would have to look into visa requirements and the likes...
Twiddle-dumb: but why would you need a visa when you have a passport?
Twiddle-dumber: yeah...a passport is used in place of a visa...you can use either!
Me: you heifers know we've had this conversation before! Visa is not a passport!
Twiddle dumb: well the travel agent said all I needed was a passport.
Me: again...traveling on an American Passport doesn't carry the same requirements as traveling on a Zambian passport. I told you that when we were planning our trip to Italy...(which has been forgotten)
Twiddle-dumber: oh yeah, I forgot you foreign people are terrorists!
Me: *eyes rolling* and *rude finger signs* I'm not A-rab!
This is my punishment for hanging out with blonde headed ho's (can I say that?), they ask the same damn questions over and over and over and over...and its not like they listen to my response...coz they don't pay me any attention at all, then they wonder why they don't learn anything! Twindle-dumb is paying for the trip...so we owe her big time...but honey you need to pay attention when I speak! everything that comes out of my mouth is IMPORTANT! And if you give me a rude response...you'll never get your money back:-)
And another thing, I am TIRED of dealing with other people's marital issues! I HATE public arguments between couples! No matter how many vague responses I give, they keep calling me! Its fine if you just want to talk, but to involve me??? "what do you think he means? don't you think he's crazy?"...sorry love, I have no clue...the only ring on my finger is a rosary...besides, I am not married to your husband, I don't know what he means! "my wife did this coz she's crazy, why don't you talk to her"...ah no honey, she's YOUR wife, not mine...you talk to her! There's a reason I am not a psychologist. Please pay one to sort out your issues. I have enough problems trying to sort out the WHY's in my life! The couples I'm talking about know who they are... don't call me no mo' with your questions, especially if you refuse to go for marital counseling! You're disturbing the feng shui of my house and my beautiful aura...okay?

aaahhhhhhhh! now that I'm liberated, I'm going to eat a huge bowl of chocolate pudding and learn more about that new pill which increases libido and decreases appetite:)