Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Who done it?

I was thinking that if I was assasinated, we really wouldn't know by whom. I for some reason get all sorts of people accusing me of things I didn't do.

SUSPECT 1: She accused me of trying to steal her boyfriend who was Indian...and I have nothing against Indians, but I just wouldn't date one in Zambia...most of them are skankz! So any way, the story was that I took the dummy to a stylish lodge in Lusaka, booked a room and decided to strip for him. He claims he ran out of the room and went home. Now that's BS by itself because WHO THE HELL WOULD TURN ME DOWN??? come on now, be realistic! anyway the bastard had the guts to ask me out after his girlfriend stopped talking to me, because she believed! When her mother died, I decided to be a big girl about the situation, and i sent her a "bridge over the water" type mail, and she wrote back to say she "forgave me" needless to say, that was the last I spoke to her ass... Forgive me for WHAT?? any way, she was the one addicted to witch doctors, so i thought either her man would put a fatwah on me, or she would curse me somehow!

#2: Used to be my friend, then we lost track of each other, then she appeared on the scene again and was dating one of my male friends. So any way, they were having problems and I had no clue. Apparently she was mad that he was spending a lot of time with me, and I guess I would be mad too if my man was spending a lot of time at some chicks house! Girlfriend got pregnant, and before she could let her man know... someone spotted him leaving my house at 6a.m. He had spent the night there as a platonic friend, just like he had done many times before. Then boyfriend borrowed some money from me, and gave me a gold chain as collateral... but I had no idea girlfriend had bought it for him to wear at all she sees it around my neck and heads off to have an abortion because I had caused her "emotional trauma". O.K now exactly how did I do that??? If she had just asked me, I could have told her I had a crush on her boyfriends older brother...and her boyfriend knew not to try anything with me. Infact, when his mother told him to date me, we had a laughing spell!!! Up to now, she still looks at me funny. She could have saved a life if she spoke to me. So maybe I felt guilty at first.

Psycho #3: honey child used to be related to me. One day she gets "an email" at her job to say she's an illegal immigrant...I guess...and dumbass decides I must have sent it because I was on vacation In England at the time it was sent. That's how ignorant people think. They have difficulty reasoning and use evidence that would never fly in court as their guide. Then she confesses in an email to family and friends that she had "married for citizenship" not so smart! and If i was as evil and she was making me seem... I could have simply sent a copy of that email to the british home office and her ass would be selling tomatoes on the road side in Chingola or some village near by!

The list goes on... but I would keep my eye on pastor idiot, and monsignor crazy...especially now that the light bulb outside my house is out, and its a little dark and scary. I am also watching a person with the initial D...hmmmm I have my eyes on you buddy!

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