Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Lowest life expectancy

The U.N. report came out with the best and worst places to live in the world. Iceland is the best place...so lets see if we can get those boats from Africa to iceland! (okay that was like a stupid joke), but seriously with that new report out, they are fueling the misconception that 'all countries north of Africa are the best' and that if you want to be happy and healthy you need to get on that little boat and become an illegal immigrant. I wouldn't be suprised if more boats are intercepted by Spain...etc.

Also...as if it was news, it turns out Zambia has the lowest life expectancy! taa daa! (I thought we've known that for the past few years). Japan on the other hand has the highest life expectancy. So I was thinking, and this is just you know... throwing it out there....why don't all Zambians Marry the Japanese and balance things out:-)

I also found a fun story about the "gulabi gang" a.k.a the pink gang, because they wear pink and are led by a woman- Sampat Pal Devi. It was only a matter of time before this could happen:)

Did you guys see the story about the two year old found in a plastic container in Texas? Who the hell knocks around a two year old? If the mother was tired of her, she could have just given her up for adoption...the cute little thing was blonde and blue eyed...you know they're first to be adopted!

The other disturbing story about mothers that i heard was 2 weeks. This little 13 year old (A) had a fight with a friend (B) of her's. So friend B's mum sets up a fake boy on myspace and fake boy pretends to be in love with friend A. Then after a little while he slanders her name and dumps her. So friend A kills herself!!! WTF? A suicidal 13 year old? Over a boy??? I'm sorry, I guess I was a late bloomer, but I certainly didn't feel that strongly about boys then...and I still don't now! I haven't met a guy I consider worthy of my life.
But that's beside the point. What was a mother getting that involved in her 13 years old's life for? How could a mother sit there and help her create a fake guy to tease her friend with? They knew they girl already had low self esteem and hit her where it hurts! How totally cruel!!!

Any way I haven't been to work in a week, so i suppose I should prepare for tomorrow.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Na leloline ali tutemwa!

Gosh! I ate myself silly on thanksgiving day...so much that I Manena- requested a walk after dinner because my belly felt too full. I am thankful for being fortunate enough to afford to have food in my belly every day. Really!

Christmas started last week as evidenced by the christmas carols on the radio! I don't mind the carols, but to listen to the same ones till christmas seems like torture!

Oh and I got a better explantion about the 'trucking biz' in Zambia. So as it turns out, we think the government mandates that the mining companies create jobs in the areas for the locals. So then the mining companies ask that locals provide trucks and then in turn pay $20+/- per ton carried, so yes in a day you could easily make $5000 per day if your truck driver is very proactive and the distance the load is carried is short. So it makes more sense to me now.

Peace talks will be held this week in Annapolis well mostly for the Isrealis and Palestinians because they don't know how to act, so Condoleeza's going to teach them how:) Well basically that's what it is in short right?

Oh I went off to talk on the phone and lost my train of thought...oppsy! well enjoy the music video... I really like it:-) and if you don't...well you're a doomass!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Ni Putes, Ni Soumises

My aunt Helen just won the commonwealth book writting competion and as you can tell I am proudy- woudy! This is the second big competition she has won... see the story here: http://www.commonwealthfoundation.com/culturediversity/shortstory/cssc2007results/

The ifc has two job openings for Zambia if anyone is interested www.ifc.org

Good lord! Iam Smith just died! I thought he was long gone by now! http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7104552.stm

Oh and hate crimes are up about 7%, with Jews, Gays and blacks and hispanics being number one on the list:-) although in a few more years, I can see Moslems and Hispanics toping the list- Immigration issues and the war will see to that!

I also think I have semi-road rage. Okay so i'm not about to hit anyone or run anyone over...but i seem to swear a lot when i drive! I get soooo irritated with a lot of drivers, especially when it rains. Why do people do crazy things when it rains a little bit?

I should also learn to lighten up on Sarkozy because has he appointed 3 women of African origin to very Condoleeza like positions in the French governmnent. You might argue that it was only affirmative action, but which other non african country would have done that?

I am clueless at to what I'll be doing for thanks giving, I know I aint cooking, well I hope I wont be cooking anything. My plan is to eat. Then maybe I'll do some Christmass shopping in black friday (why is it black friday any way?), well the sales are great on that day, so might as well take advantage of them.

and remember ladies - we are "Ni Putes, Ni Soumises" oh wait..I think that is only for me to remember...lolololololol!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Namaste my friends!

amazing race: So I accidentally ended up on the CBS tonight and they were showing this 'amazing race' show. The contestants had to go to Ouagadougou and I haven never heard that much ignorance in my life! They have these 2 racist sounding blondies that on day one declare that the cab driver will rob them, then one asks her friend where they are going...and she responds "oh we're probably goigng to be sold into slavery!" then when they're on the train, they start laughing at people coming on and saying they smell... they are like "what perfume is she wearing?" and the friend goes "perfume d'afrique!" I was like what the hell????

Oh and like we don't have enuff bad news, China announced last week that it was reducing it's holdings in US assets! I just want this whole economy thing to fix itself and be done with! I guess I should cut down on reading the economist!

Any way on more positive news... I did a whole stack of laundry today, read several books this weekend, spoke on the phone for hours, finally saw shrek 3 and ratatouille ( i know right? I am so far behind in movies!) and I ate ifisashi and ichifu...and should be feeling very fat right now:-)

While we're at it, the popular mine "trucking" business in Zambia doesn't make sence to me. So supposedly, you buy a truck at $20 000 +/-, then you lease it to the mines and make any where between $11 000- $60 000 per truck per month according to sources that are currently doing the business. To me it just isn't economically sound for the company to do it that way. It seems to me they can buy a truck a month and trash it if they have that kind of disposable income!

So any way... why is it that when some zed girls date muzungu's they tend to act all stereotypical? Well I have heard it called "booggah life"! I have seen people make major transformations speaking in strange accents, dressing in strange attires, doing strange zungu like weaves (blue, purple, gold..hey!) and basically just doing stuff that's waaaayyyy out there!
I know this real life "pretty woman", and just like in the movie, she was taken from a hooker like setting in zed by this zungu diplomat-ish guy...and she pretty much gets to see these amazing places and meet these celebrity type people...but my thing is, you've been together for so many years, and what if one day he says it's over and sends you packing...what do you do then? you have no college degree, no work experience per se, most of your friends probably have moved in the last few years--I mean I feel sorry for her...

Oh and like when Hillary wins... it will make things easier to remember the American predidents, coz you can go, bush, clinton, bush, clinton, bush?...it's like a conspiracy btwn the two families! different parties my ass!

Any way, its late... I am going to admire myself in the mirror while pondering the meaning of life:-)

Monday, November 12, 2007

Excitey whitey!!!

I had a really really really great weekend! It was so great that most of my favorite people in the world called me...and they are neatly lined up in my 'received calls' tab on my cell phone... how cute is that?

So any way, we were supposed to go to Georgetown friday night, but the weather wasn't to my liking, so we ended up at Jaleo's in Bethesda. We took a cab so nobody could go home sobber :), the cab guy pissed me off honking like he owns the building and lucky for him...he was an older African guy playing classical music in his cab... so I spared him the lecture!

Any way I love Tapas...they remind me of the Zambian concept of 'ozamwina', you know like when you drink they bring out all the little rosted bits and pieces such as chicken, t-bone, michopo's (come on! don't front like you haven't tasted them before!)... the only difference is that the spanish have more variety I guess n the fancy things you can choose from while you drown in a bottle of something delightful:-)
After dinner we tried to locate the other African Club in Bethesda and were lead instead to Bambule (a spanish club) by the some dumbass at one of the bars we inadvertently stopped at. The patrons were too hillarous for us to stay, so we went looking for live music in the rain...while cab hoping. That's what you call 'really looking for a party'.

Saturday, we went lookig for chocolate cake from Balducci because I had a major craving... unfortunately they didn't have any of the kind i like damned them! so i settled for my other craving- scrabbled eggs and bacon! Balducci also had a 20% off all cases of wines sale...who i'm I to pass up this offer??? you better believe i took advantage of it!
Then we went spent most of the afternoon and evening at Neiman Marcus and Saks fith avenue...lord have mercy! you all know I wasn't buying anyting there, I was just an escort. The day I shop there will be the day you all either know I robbed someone or finally landed that sugar daddy I have been scanning the market for... aka Bill gates! lol! but seriously...why should a plain cotton dress cost $1000? que? The store had kids with their parents actually purchasing this stuff. I for one believe that kids shouldn't have a dress costing more than $200 if they have no jobs...how do they learn the value of hard work? lol... I'm probably only writting this way coz i'm poor. If i were ricj i would probably do the same thing for my kids.

Saturday night we parted ways... one going this way and the other that way. We met up again Sunday for lunch and to talk.

Then i finally got my inheritance that I really wanted from my grandmother after many negotiations, sanctions, vindications and summons! It's a hymn book (united church of Zambia U.C.Z) of the songs that my grandma used to teach me. I was soooo happy! I also found a few more CD's with songs I like that I haven't heard in a while. I also got the new Oliver Mtukudzi album...

As predicted the girls weren't too thrilled with me ditching them on friday, so they stalked me saturday and sunday, and they finally got me this afternoon to go to lunch with them at Panera. I will not be going back to panera- I found bug in my soup!!! how disgusting!

Any way I had a greeeeeeeeaaaattttt weekend:-) hope y'all did as well.

By the way ticket prices to Zambia are so disgusting! we'll soon have to start walking there!

Friday, November 09, 2007

Romance novels

So i've been quiet for a while... pretending to be busy so you guys could think i have alife or something:-)
No seriously though, I have been caught up in my novels and had a lot of contemplating to do.

If you have never had the opportunity to pick up a romance novel I would like to suggest that you pick up one that's circa 1800's... They are just fabulous! I don't read the modern day romance novels because they do nothing for me. The men are only half as gallant, they don't take as many risks for their women and really it's too much like real life... that I know it's fiction.

The 'historical' novels though have so much passion! The are no emails to send, no telephone to call, and when she's missing, there's no google, or 'people finder' to help locate her! There's always a lot of drama.... you know like she walks into a room and people stare at her coldly because she's so hot. The way the men express themselves so...so...the word evades me! Instead of just the plain old 'will you marry me' or 'I love you'... they come up with descriptions of how her eyes did something to him, or how her laughter just leaves him weak. The drama of thieves, trollops, conniving wenches and the deceptive people of the ton just puts you on the edge of your seat trying to figure out how far they will go.

When Sir whats-his-name or the duke of Nenaland beholds her bossom....ummm the room just gets too hot you have no choice but to take a cold shower!

So needless to say, since i was cancelled from work today... i picked upi a copy of a Cheryl Holt novel and I am now blissfully happy in my make belive world!

as for the real world... Musharaf thinks he's so slick huh? We've seen those little "state of emergency" stints in Africa... he can't fool me!
- Darryl Perry's story is another reason why you shouldn't be too hasty to pull the plug when someone is declared clinically dead in the hospital. The story is so heart warming.
- The USA just purchased a new hand bag...aka newly separated Sarkozy!
-The mafia commandments have been found-- I am intrigued enough to want to know what they contain:-)
- We have approximately a $6 trillion deficit in the USA. Wow! All i need is a fraction of that amount... if i should be so lucky!
-One of the doctors at work thought I hated him because I hardly ever said a word to him... so yesterday I had to explaijn myself to him...it was very funny. later in the day, he told a co-worker that I'm awesome...and i was like- so what else is new?
- Tonight is sushi night, but I am on my way to Georgetown...and i haven't told the girls I wont be meeting them... so i gather i will be holding my own funeral tomorrow when they kill me:-)
-Oh my... winter is here... why couldn't it just not come this year?
- The picture is really of my cousin bungee jumping in Zambia... she's got more guts than me man!

Thursday, November 01, 2007


I am sooo excited that tomorrow is Friday.... I am sure you're tired of hearing it... but gotta love fridays! I will be off saturday, sunday and monday! excitemundo!

Hey does anyone know a good business lawyer? I have a question but I'm cheap and I need a free lawyer:-)

Also why do people like to ruin it for others? wha a gwan with the aid workers in Chad taking all those kids? I betchu the families were partially involved! Also I don't buy the "we were just trying to help" defence... coz nah wow! how many people in the world adopt black children-- other than Madonna and Angelina? what were they going to do with that many kids once they got there?

In addition, doesn't the Menezes story kinda remind you of Amadou Diallo? except the other dude is hispanic and in England.

The Hollywood writters are threatening a strike teeheeheehee! WTF? It really doesn't concern me, but I have no pity for their plight. Do you know that a new writter in hollywood makes approximately $7500 per episode? So imagine something that comes on weekly like 'sex in the city' that pretty much lasted years... how disgusting is their salary at that point??? C'mmon now! I clean poop and only make a fraction of that amount! Talk about the wrong profession

Winter is going to be bitter this year!!! I can feel it! I wish I could work from home and just never leave till spring!

I am so grown up! I wrote to my congress people or what ever they're called to let them know not to raise taxes when O'malley puts his proposal in. I have been assured that my representatives are all Republicans, so I can rest easy coz they wont let that happen:-)
any way Shalom... I should be in bed:-)... oh it's the last season of scrubs... kind of a sob sob moment:-)

All Souls Day...

So in preparation for all souls day, I have a list of people I would like remembered. P/S if you're not catholic, don't worry about it:-) and if I forgot someone it really wasn't deliberate:-)

Granny Kili Granpa Alick Granny Damaris
Grandpa Lefted
Uncle Douglas
Uncle Owen
Uncle Wisdom Uncle Salvatore
Aunty Lenny Aunty Susan Aunty Lengwe Aunty Hilda
Uncle Patrick Uncle Hewit Uncle Sam Uncle Bootsie
Uncle George Uncle Henry Uncle Mwenya Uncle Bukali
Stella Kondwani Chabala Ba Topani
Wezi Euwell Aunty Florence Chipasha
Baby Michael Aunt Barbara Bana Nthanizi Uncle John
Chansa sisi Mary Ba Jennifer Ba Eunice
Uncle Mike Uncle Michael Bana Steve Banakulu Kondwa
Mutinta Chidongo St Louis Nick Tutu
Grandpa E.S Grandpa Blackie Granny Anne
Uncle Churchill