Happy International Women's Day!!!

I know I have been AWOL for a long while...but I have officially chosen to be back today on this lovely International Women's day! I hope all the lovely ladies of the world are having a grand day today!

I realized I needed to get back to blogging while sitting in my bed screaming numbers at a girl to win the car on 'The price is right'...isn't that just sad??? lol. I think blogging is really good for me...it made me read more, think more about stuff, offers mental therapy, pep up my self confidence (hmmm, scratch that--- my mirror does a great job!).

So much has happened in between...I wont bother trying to catch up coz that will take all day:-) Will catch you up as i go along. Who I'm I talking to you wonder? Lawd knows! hahaha! I just come here to talk about things I like!

So in all seriousness women: I hope you're taking good care of your health. If you haven't had a physical assessment done this year...please arrange for one to be done. If you haven't had a pap smear-- call your OB Gyn, do a random HIV test and for goodness sake LOVE YOURSELF today-- and I don't mean the other love that comes with batteries-- but if you chose to do that today that's your prerogative too...:-)

Na leloline mayo...

I had a fabulous few days as expected. I went to Woodmont grill in bethesda for dinner (the food was devine!) on friday, then went out to a club in DC to drink and get down....

I also had family in town from England, Holland and Zambia...so i feel even more special now-- as if they were here specifically for me:-) LOL... My highlight was spending time with "Nina anina" she is such a joy...major hand full! But so sweet and cute. It surprises me that my quiet cousin and her equally quiet husband produced this non-stop-talk-till-I-drop diva!!! She even says "it's pretty like me"...lol! She's like a mini me:-) I absolutely love that!!!

Saturday, I over exhausted myself... went to a lunch cooked by the lovely Melissa, then we sat on her rooftop drinking wine and watching the city go by...the sun was soooo relaxing, i was almost asleep when I got home. The drinking spree continued. Then it was family time and shopping for all of Sunday and Monday. I came home with makeup I didn't need. Okay it looks cute... but I didn't need it:-)

Tuesday, I had lunch with one group of people-- California pizza house (or whatever), then after that went to meet another group of people for happy hour and another group for dinner in fells point-- El Trovador... the life of a socail butterfly! I can't even keep up with myself! Tell you what, a year ago, I would never have driven to fells point... but I think my Garmin gives me false confidence! Wait till she looses me down town in another city!-- talking about re-calculating...!

So any way: Yesterday, I had to sort of console two people having men trouble. I wont bash men at this moment coz i have something more important to discuss in my next post.

Enjoy Yom Kipur. I did.

This is...for the lover in you

Happy Valentines day to those of you that have met or are aquainted with my buddy L.O.V.E

I hope you get and give lots of loving (not in that way you dirty bat! you know who you are!)

This is what I think of Valentines day for the rest of us that aren't gonna be in warm corners with that special someone, or probably wont have money to buy that secret love a gift...

Kill the little bugger for not getting the job done right!!!

Oh and remember the FBI warning for us not to open e-cards from strangers coz they might be viruses.... don't go getting all excited that someone finally remembered your lonely behind, or that you have a secret crush...coz it aint gonna happen!

My only consolation is that I have a date on Friday and a date on Saturday... now if they come empty handed... me's never going to see them again. Not that I'm a gold digger or anything (who I'm I kidding?), but it's just datettiquette to bring something with you when you call on a lady (me especially!).

Live and love... and listen to all the love songs in your album because t'is the day for that kind of thing.... and if you just broke up with someone booboo, don't be sad... it will just crapitulate the whole day...:-)

The sanctity of marriage...

So today I woke up thinking I have serious problems and of course mad at God for the problems and the fact that he doesn't answer my prayers on time or at all. Then this evening I get several calls and discover, I actually don't have real problems. I really have no right to complain about anything and I feel guilty that I even dared. God showed me today that my bitchy ass self just needs to calm the hell down and appreciate what little I have!!!

Resolved: Everyone needs someone to love.
Don't get me wrong. I believe in the Theory/ principle of marriage because it's a great idea. But, I disagree with the practical observation of marriage because it's only possible for saints, dreamers and mighty hard workers!

My message to women out there is that Marriage is only a label. Do not see it as more than that. Today the label reads 'yours' tomorrow it reads 'other woman's!' always make sure you have a plan B. I am really serious.

I know that the church tells you that you are joined for better or worse and that you're now 'one' ...but that's bull crap because men wrote those vows and you and your husband are not siamese twins. Men are only human just like you and me with no special powers and they can leave any time they pick and choose. Screw the damned vows! Prepare yourself. Listen to what he says, but at the end of the day, trust your own heart and your intuition. The decision you make may cause some issues in the house, but trust me...go with it. This is even more important when children are involved in the equation.

Men are generally fickle headed when it comes to the fairer sex and they will leave you in a heart beat for what they think is hotter than you. Just like winter comes before spring.

It doesn't matter if you look good, make his favorite food the best, hand wash his damned skid marks off his underwear, get the best breast augmentation, be the most polite, squeeze his zits, bear his ten heirs, be highly educated, make a lot of money, maintain your figure, take care of his dying parents well... it all doesn't matter. Prepare yourself for the "it's not you it's me" speech. Duh! If i've been the best that I can be for you based on whatever crappy feedback you've been giving me... then it's really "not me" it's bloody you mate!!!

If you logically evaluate everything, there really aren't any real benefits to marriage. Not even guaranteed sex with the same partner!
The supporters will give you the usual cockamamie...oh the children grow up more mentally stable... (ummm Menendez brothers anyone?), it's economically sound (well yes, and so is getting a room mate/ tenant and a better paying job), it's healthy (haha! for the wife or for hubby?), procreation (do I hear sperm bank?)

The key?
1)Separate bank accounts! Always have your own money. If he makes a fuss, open a secret account and don't have any statements sent home, or send them to a family member or close friend.
2)Marry his lame ass for the camaraderie which you need, but keep one leg in the marriage and the other in reality!
3)If it don't feel right: it aint right. Period.
4)Words are just words. He can say all he wants, but prepare for the fact that he may be lying through his teeth. Take it with a pinch of salt.

Most of the people that write about the benefits of marriage are like totally clueless and just spit out what "experts" say. "Expert" write according to the groups they represent (whoever pays their salary).I personally I'm not married, but I speak from experience.

My experience was gained working for the YWCA (Young Womens Christian Association) where I met various physically and emotionally abused women. For some examples, picture your life as a mother of 5 kids, left destitute with your five kids by a husband who has fallen for a 21 year old with perky boobs and size 2 jeans in a country where the law wont hold him accountable for paying child support or alimony. Then see yourself as a mother of three told for years by your husband that you are too stupid to understand anything even though he's sleeping with your sister and misusing your pension! Then finally picture yourself as the woman beaten within a breath of her life in front of her children by the husband she has been supporting financially.

Should these women stay in their marriages because of the "benefits" of marriage? What lesson are they giving their children if they stay in these shams of a marriage?

Someone asked me today where the Zambian "shipikisha" (literally meaning hang in there no matter what) motto went to. I laughed because I believe that marriages in the olden days lasted longer because the women had less rights and less opportunity to make money and just had to grin and bear whatever crap they were fed by hubby and because society said they had to stay. These days women have few more choices and need not necessarily "shipikisha". Well even if you want to, he can still leave you by your lonesome.

You can not trust anyone with your whole life and expect guarantees. It's just not possible. If you learn anything from me let it be :-
a) separate bank accounts!!!!
b) do not sign any divorce papers till the finances are in order including the money he hid on the cayman islands!
c) cohabit if you're keen on it.
d) If he's gone. He's gone. Stalking him and harrasing his love interest du jour wont bring him back-- it could have you arrested though.

Girlfriend code of honor!

Yesterday the girls and I met for our usual sushi night. I was so stuffed I had to unbotton my pants! The sushi was just so good.
problem was, you remember the girl from my previous post "crazy love"? well she planned out our evening and at last minute while we were patiently waiting for her at the Sushi retaurant...she cancelled on us!!!

She broke the cardinal rule 'thy shall not ditch your girlfriends for a night out with a man that calls you every three months or so!' The girlfriends code of honor also states that, you can not come back and cry on my shoulder after ditching me for a night with said mr. doomass! Okay so as you can tell we were quite pissed...but you know what? every cloud has a silver lining! Remember how I said a few days ago that I would be in trouble for something that my friend and I did? well now that blondilox ditched us...she has has to make up for it by forgiving our little faux pas.

Well in our conversation, we went on a rant and rave about men...and quite frankly love is a fallacy...yeah I sound like a bitter old woman...lol...but what do I care it's my blog! You're better off getting married for money than love. That way, you save yourself heartache...and can afford that little trip around the world that you've always wanted after the divorce! Besides if the attraction wasn't there you could always use the services of your pool boy or your personal tennis instructor!
Those of you in love will disagree, but think about it... how do you explain the high divorce rate? CBS ran a story that very few people in the Washington DC area...(especially negroes) were getting married and they are going to start PAYING people to get married! See even the government realizes that love don't pay the bills. I personally think the government will be doing it all wrong if they pay people to GET married... I would say pay people to STAY married...but whatever!

Women get a raw deal out of a divorce. So he leaves you in your 40's and he finds his young little chickeedee and you're stuck for the rest of your life alone after investing all your heart in him... well if you're Demi moore you get lucky... but don't hold your breath!

They say life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile. I don't know about that because life is short...but you need to make it meaningful and with as little heartache as possible. 'Loving truly' in my warped little mind brings major heart burn.

So with that said, I am bowing out of that 'find love' sort of life...I am off to find the equivalent of Anna Nicole's Mr.Smith! I should have listened to P when he told me I was born to be a gold digger, but I was in denial and ended up on the wrong path.

Crazy Love!

So we all know Love can make us do some really jacked up things right? So I have this one friend that has been in a really dead end relationship for a while now...I am talking about dating a real low-down-dirty-dawwg! He's stingy and hurtful and she has been with him for about 2 years. He's moslem which boggles my mind, because majority of the moslem guys back home are the most generous dudes I can think of! They buy or rent out a place for you, and pay most of your expenses...talk about a real "kept" woman. He doesn't buy her jackary!

So any way, I have been trying to pimp her out for a while, but she never agrees to any of my plans! I have tried to get her on Match.com eharmony.com and some other sites... I also suggested that she go for that 3(?) minute dating thing. I have no issues going with her because I would love to find out excatly what you say to a person in 3 minutes...especially since I can be madame antisocial in certain situations.

I got this line from one show that i happened to be watching the other day...though I can't remeber which "...THE BEST WAY TO GET OVER A MAN, IS TO GET UNDER ANOTHER ONE!" hillarious...but somehow true! I mean you just don't jump into another sexual relationship, but dating new people helps you forget the last "lost love"...I think:)

It's really tough when someone you know is dating doomass-numero-uno, and its not like I haven't had a doomass or 2 of my own...but, I've also had the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow even though I'm too stupid to take the gold:) (another story...when you're older!), I think everyone should look forward to the pot of gold, no matter how elusive it is to get. If you're lucky, you'll find several.

Any way, dating is pretty touch in this city for a certain age group..example... last friday, me, Mr Doomass's girl friend and several other friends..married and single went out to www.vinbaltimore.com which is a pretty classy place, and one where you can rest assured that you wont get hit on by juniour...unless he's stolen daddy's credit card. The food is great and i would personally recommend the calamari and the vin classic. We also discovered one really good bottle of Italian Pinot Noir...excellent... its number 036 on their wine list, but I digress.... so lets get back to the story at hand! There were no prospective single men!!! So them lady P wanted us to go to The still...or Michaels can't remember where...but i think it was michaels, but we found that they had a 60's night theme...and the patrons were between my dad and my grand-pa's age! I mean it was great that they were all having a good time, I haven't seen people have that much fun in a while! My question remained: WHERE DO THE PEOPLE 30 AND UNDER 45 HANG OUT? So yet again miss doomass's girlfriend went home with no new prospects...but I think she's really not putting in the effort..coz she loves her man.

Well let me go and put some tuna in the grill for my lunch..all that food talk made me hungry!

Happy Holidays!!

I am preparing for my trip to England...seems the weather might put a damper on my travel plans, but fingers crossed I will be in London for Christmas! Shopping has been interesting especially since I can not stand crowded places for long periods of time... but tis the season and I can only live with it,

I got a special call from my aunt who lives in the Netherlands and is a Jehova's witness...i think it was a reminder not to call her on xmas day...but never the less I enjoyed reminescing with her. She told me a story of how my paternal grand-mother had been so excited when I was born, and my maternal grand-mothers siter Anne had been amused by it. I don't know, for some reason I thought being a second child... no one was that excited and my parents were probably alone at the hospital, but as it turns out, it was a full house! You know even though you know you're special in the eyes of your family and friends, its always great to hear validation... the occassional "we are so proud of you!", "great job!", "we miss you" and the ever precious words..."we love you!"

My friends and I are going out tonight for more friend time, it's more sushi and wine...and its raining...so my moods a bit dark...can't wait to see my buddy's so I can have a laugh.

Oh and I HATE how the tax man takes a day and a half's worth of my pay check! I could have used that money for extra entertainment on New Years day!

So with that said...love you all! It's been a great year, and it's been great knowing you all.

and if you love someone, let them know...Muah!