Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Where have all the real men gone?


"Where have all the real men gone? long time passing. Where have all the real men gone? Long time ago..." (use the Peter, Paul & Mary tune) lets get those guitars and tambourines out... put some flowers in your hair and sing along honey....

Yeah yeah yeah...another rant and rave...!!!

Okay, I am not intending on becoming a professional man basher or anything, but some things gats to be said y'all!!!

I am going to blame women collectively for this big catastrophe! I think we've done it and we have to somehow fix it....if it's even fixable at this time.

There too many men getting in touch with their feelings...and it's just not normal! They sit around and talk about how.."oh my daddy left when I was 8, so it traumatized me and that's why I'm not good with relationships!"....Brotha please!!! You are a grown man now...GET OVER IT!!!

Or my favorite!-- "my father died when I was a teen, so I have attachment issues".... umm luvvy...so did my dad, but I attach just fine! Besides, should the world stand still ten years later for that reason? GET OVER IT!!!

The thing with "modern man" is that you have to sit there and pamper him all damned day! It's like he expects to be breast fed, and have his diaper changed. He has forgotten his role as the provider and prefers to be the provided for. It's like you always have to be like "nyonka daddy...nyo nyo...daddy.." all day long!

I think I will blame those brassiere waving women's rights activists because while they were establishing their place in history... they killed "real man" and manufactured "modern man". Mister --"my mother never used to hug us, so i have intimacy issues"...sugar bunz...ahh, if you can say what your problem is...you're on the right path to healing and should have found the solution by now...okay? GET OVER IT!!!! If you can't then go gay or something dude coz I am tired of your whining...and I can't wipe your snot any more!

If all you depend on is 'modern man's' pay check...y'all will be living on the street, because he rarely has the money for a Manager of domestic affairs (a.k.a house wife). Also, they seem to regress even further once you have children in the house!!!

Also what's with all those tears??? I think I saw my father cry twice in my life time (though he pretended to wash his face!) and both times it was for a good cause-- someone had died. But modern man? he cries for anything!!! I mean I'm not saying don't be emotional, but if you cry at the movies daawgg...then Houston....WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM!!!

This is my petition for the return of real man! The man who knows how to take charge...the hard worker with ambition that doesn't need constant pats on the back to know that he's done well. The provider, the protector, the rescuer (lets have a harp and violin playing in the back ground!)...the suave gentleman who brings FLOWERS to a date, cooks meals occasionally, the romantic fella, mister fix it, the man who understands that breast feeding ends at age One...for most people and earlier for others!

Let all the women with sons correct this error...it's not genetic yet I think. They will blame it on genes in a few more years, but lets try to correct this!

If you have a 'real man'...lady-- kneel and kiss his feet tonight, because that man has earned it! If his mother is still in out midst... please buy her something special for bringing him up in the proper way and making your life easy girl! While we're at it, kiss her feet too...

Oh wait!!!! I just had a BRILLIANT idea! we need to petition government to open 'Council for the Preservation of Real Men' (Ceeprem) (damn I'm good!!!) I could be the president and C.E.O of the company...and I could become the law of what's manly and what's just plain wimpy!!! I could hire Margaret Thatcher to whip 'em into shape!!!

*********************Disclaimer****************************************

This is in no way, shape or form a reflection of men that i have dated, I'm dating or will date in the future (except for that one loser!). So homie don't call me and start asking if I was talking about you! Coz I'll cuss you out!

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1 comment:

sangwani said...

You're very knowledgeable on the subject of men that have been abandoned by their fathers; did you have a sex change we should know about? Lol!!!